Ex of The Ex

Could you be friends with your Ex- boyfriends/ Ex- girlfriends?

Life is interesting, there's no forever friends nor enemies.

As social media gets our relationships exposed to the internet, and tells us the mutual connections we have, the world becomes smaller. With Linkedin, Twitter, and Facebook, you could even come across your ex's Ex. You could start chit chating with them if you are bold enough and if you like it. Somehow, you may find a friend that is similar to you because your ex probably chooses you because you're similar type as his/her ex. That's why life is a circle, it connects us all.

I am an easy going and open minded person, so I don't refuse being friends with anyone. Anyone could inspire me in some way and I appreciate that. I am honest to myself and my feelings, and if something doesn't feel right, I probably won't do it. After all, it all comes to our own peace, happiness, and perceptions towards life.  

Love yourself first before you know how to love others. Don't torture yourselves with negative emotions.

Treat yourself nicely and pursue your passions, then good luck, opening gates, and positive energy will come to you. 

幸福 Happiness

“幸福不是你房子有多大 ，而是房子里的笑声有多甜.
幸福不是你开多豪华的车 ，而是你开着车平安到家.
幸福不是你的爱人有多漂亮 ， 而是爱人的笑容有多灿烂.”

小时侯，幸福是一件东西，拥有就幸福；长大后，幸福是一个目标，达到就幸福；成熟后，发现幸福原来是一种心态，领悟就幸福。                       ---from 时尚小资馆。

幸福，没有捷径， 只有经营                       ----范范的“最重要的决定”。

就我来说，小时候有父母，老师，大人们的赞美，就觉得乐翻天；

长大后，为了追求美好的生活条件而努力，似乎是达到的话就会满足，

但是发现原来智慧就已经为我带来了心灵上的幸福， 因为心中有人性的爱。 

前两个阶段只是局限于被爱，我猜到年纪大了，可以有更大的能力去爱人和帮人， 该会得到更大的喜乐吧！ 

"Happiness is not how big your house is, but how sweet the laughter in the house is. Happiness is not about how luxurious the car you drive, but that you drive home safely.

Happiness is not how beautiful your lover is, but how bright your lover's smile is. "

When I was young, happiness is a thing, and happiness comes from having it; when I grow up, happiness is a goal, and happiness is achieved; after maturity, I find that happiness turns out to be a state of mind, and understanding leads to happiness. --- from Fashion Petty Museum.

Happiness, no shortcuts, only building and managing -Fan Fan's "most important decision".

As far as I am concerned, when I was a child, I felt happy when there were parents, teachers, and adults who complimented me. When I grow up, I worked hard to pursue a better living condition. It seemed to be achieved, I was satisfied. But I discovered that wisdom has brought me happiness in my heart, because there is the love of the humanity in my heart. The first two stages are limited to being loved. I guess when you are older, you can have a greater ability to love and help others. You will get more joy!

From a friend : good life philosophy

1. Mistakes are temporary regrets, and missing the opportunities are forever regrets! Don't be afraid of mistakes and miss the chances.

2. Rather forgiving others yourself, than letting others forgive you.

3. The world doesn't belong to you originally, so you don't need to abandon it. What you want to abandon is all stubbornness. All is what for me to use, but not for me to own.

4. You have your view of life, I have my view of life, and I do not interfere with you. If I was able to influence your view, then I would reform you. If not, then I would resign to fate.

5. If you are going to get married, tell you a very important philosophical saying: "You must be patient with each other's shortcomings. There is no absolute happiness and perfect marriage in the world. Happiness only comes from unlimited tolerance and mutual respect.

6. My wealth is not that I have a lot, but that I ask for very little.

7. It's not that someone annoys me, but that I annoy myself with someone's words and deeds.

8. Living in the applause of others are people who can't stand the test.

9. If you can shout "I don't need to worry about this little thing" 21 times a day, you will find that there is an incredible power in your heart. Try it, it works.

10. If you can let go of everything, you’ll be a free human in the world.

11. Thank God for what I have, thank God for what I don't have.

12. Coming is accidental, and going is inevitable. So you have to let it be if things stay still and stay still to let it be.

13. A stupid person always wants others to understand him/her. Wise people try hard to understand themselves.

14. To tell a lie, you have to make up ten lies to cover up, why bother?

15. You don't have to look back to see who is cursing you? If a mad dog bites you, do you have to lie down and bite it?

16. Arrogant people could be saved, inferior people could not be saved.

17. Whenever you let go, whenever you’ll have no trouble and worry.

18. The reason why people suffer is due to pursuing the wrong things.

19. It is better to say that your own self-cultivation is not strong enough than saying that the others to make you suffer.

20. Fate is responsible for shuffling the cards, but it is our own choices to play the cards!

21. If you live one more day, you are blessed and you should cherish it. When I cried and complained that I have no shoes to wear, I found that someone in the world has no feet.

To Ladies*

An encouraging and meaningful message to all ladies=):

1. No matter how good this man in front of you is, if he doesn’t love you, this is his biggest shortcoming which you can never change.

2. Do not cry when breaking up. Of course, it's not that you don't cry at all. In front of him, don't cry, but back in the ground, you could cry as much as you want.

3. The biggest shortcoming of a person is not selfishness, brutality, and willfulness, but stubbornness for loving a person who does not love you.

4. No matter how bad your conditions are, there will always be someone who loves you. No matter how good your conditions are, there are always people who do not love you.

5. The only way to seize a man should be, never let him be satisfied.

6. No matter how pretty you dress, no matter how expensive you wear, that's just a guise. A coat made with kindness is the true beauty.

7. If we blame love for hurting us, then may I ask, did you nod at the beginning to accept that love to come?

8. Grievances that can be spoken are not grievances. Those “lovers” who leave you are not considered your true love.

9. It is a kind of happiness to be able to hold a touch of sadness that cannot be taken away by time.

10. Human is always a lonely creature with ego. No matter how you sincerely speak your love, there will always be a moment that your heart cannot be understood.

11. Be neither modest nor arrogant, face everything with calmness and elegance.

12. A person, if he is not free, it is because he does not want to be free; a person, if he cannot walk away, it is because he does not want to walk away;

a person, if he has too many excuses for you, it is because he does not want to care.

13. Sometimes, things are subjective that cannot be explained. If you think it's worth it, then it's worth it; if you don't think it's worth it, even others say the opposite, you still feel it’s not worth it.

14. To understand the truth, men easily like a person, but will not easily fall in love with a person.

15. Woman, when in love, is like being isolated from the world.

16. On calm days, leave and cherish some space for yourself, some space for your partner, and some beauty for distance.

17. Sometimes don't worry too much. Men are a little bit clunky. Forgetting one thing doesn't mean he doesn't love you, don't scare yourself.

18. Women often like to confess their hearts, while men do the opposite.

19. Sometimes, learn to treat disappointment as a gain, because disappointment could be the byproduct of expectation.

20. Don't deliberately try to change whoever, because no one can change whoever, only if, he (whoever) is willing to change for you.

21. By time, you can understand love, you can prove love, you can also overturn love.

22. Freedom is precious, but tens of thousands of people are using freedom in exchange for love every day.

23. You can have vanity, because that is the nature of women, but don't let yourself become a tool for adding vanity to others.

24. Don't say that there is no good man in this world, don't remember and hate the person who abandoned you, after all, he had loved you. Forgiveness will make you more beautiful.

25. Don't be curious and don't care what his current girlfriend looks like. How is her figure? You're just making trouble for yourself like this.

26. Whatever you said must be done, even if it is stupid, it is better than words without credibility.

27. Don't make a decision when you’re angry and crying, you will regret it.

28. He said, “I am tired, let me calm down and take a break for a while, okay?” You say yes, because he came to inform you, not to get your consent.

29. You are pure then so be it, if you pretend to be pure, it is uglier than ugly, understand?

30. Not all efforts will succeed, but without effort, you will not succeed.

31. Girls must love themselves. No matter how much blow you encounter, no matter how bad the situation you face, don’t deprave yourself. The more you don't love yourself, the more nobody loves you.

32. Beauty, wisdom, money, and many other things are doomed by nature. Don’t try to change using your jealousy.

33. Be careful! Jealousy, hatred, and revenge are just tricks. It doesn't matter if you want to play these tricks, it's about not being discovered.

34. Set your mind, don't be sad when you lose things, you should be thinking like this, he does not belong to you.

35. Try to be an elegant woman, don't be pretentious, because pretentious women are not only hated by women, but also by men.

36. Independence, forever. No matter, emotionally or financially.

37. Um ... On what occasions do you not believe in a man? In bed, when he is happy, when he asks for you to do him a favour, and when he makes mistakes.

38. Don't try your best to show off to many people that you have many boyfriends or male friends. Because others will not envy you, they will just despise you.

39. Don't ask all day, do you love me? By the time when you ask, he doesn't love you anymore.

40. Under 20 years old, if you believe in idol drama, so be it. Over 20 years old, you still believe in idol drama, then it's over.

41. To know whether a man is good or bad, it’s not depending on his monogamy or not. Since ancient times, men have many dedications (I.e. Flower heart in Chinese), it’s depending on whether a man has self control or not.

42. Brave women are always more beautiful than coward women. If, your lover does not love you, I advise you to be brave and separate, better than cowardly entangled.

43. A woman who is good at compromise is precious. However, women who are only good at compromising are cheap.

44. Don’t be an overwhelming female; be a wise and strong woman.

Live with Stress and Reality

Have you ever read any people's blogs about their recent lives, especially the one that you used to hate before? I accidentally found out a person's blog, which I am interested in reading it right now. The person and I had some misunderstandings and arguments with each other when we were young. We used to be friends. However, we became two strangers after the argument because both of us said something hurtful to each other. After 10 years, both of us have grown up a lot and turn to be more mature. When I see her blog, I realize her emotions and impression towards human life and love. Ironically, we didn't even talk about our life goals and philosophy when we were still friends.

Her blog shows her confusion towards her goal and love. I experience similar identity confusion as hers, but hers is stronger than mine. I found out that she has a high expectation about her love, and an unsure plan of life. Each of her blog entry implies sadness and loneliness. Due to the fact that we do not keep in touch and that we are in different part of the world where are far from each other, I feel weird to cheer her up and leave her a comment in the blog after all these years. Therefore, I leave my words here for myself as well as for all the friends I love (hope you are reading my blog=)).

1. Everyone has his or her own stress. We cannot remove stress but we can live with it. Treat it as our motivation, our partner, and our supervisor.

2. Dreams are very important. Don't blame yourself if you cannot achieve the targets you used to have. Because you are in the right direction already, you just need to give yourselves sometimes to implement your dreams with different methods based on the reality. Try to know the rule of this game and play it well!

3. For the girl: I don't hate you anymore. I appreciate your writing skills and your personality. So I hope you can be happy and lovely in your life.