真相 Truth

(Chinese/English Below)

我身邊的人們總説看世糊塗一點，你就會快樂一點。這是真的嗎？

我是個對機會說好及對真相好奇的人。要裝傻實在需要360度的高智能。精明變成我的習慣，在香港這繁忙城市長大的我絕對不是一個懞懂的女孩。初中從同學們的人際關係中已知社會品流複雜多變。努力半工半讀的我也年紀輕輕打過超出十五份工，工作交際能力中等，感情及閲人經歷不淺。我喜歡新鮮事物，但也重視留在自己身邊的人事物。

真相可能是殘酷的，但我寧願知多，好過知少。「死心塌地」去對一樣野或一個人已不是潮流，這個世代訊息萬變，我們已無形地不忠。正因如此，忠誠善良更顯可貴，信任更需要勇氣了。在這世代生存，有時我也不經不覺地成了木頭娃娃或機器人，需要改變去讓自己變得不麻木。

每一刻我都努力地在了解自己，捉摸自己的心思，善待自己。只有如此，我才懂怎樣愛更多的人及這個世界。

寫這個專欄是為了記下自己的感悟，也希望跟我有緣的你會明白我多一些。感恩合十!

People around me always say that if you look at reality through blurry lens, you will be happier. is this true?

I am a person who says yes to opportunities and is curious about the truth. It takes 360 degrees of high intelligence to pretend to be stupid. Smartness has become my habit. I grew up in a busy city like Hong Kong, and I am definitely not a girl who does not understand reality. Since middle school, I realized society and interpersonal relationships are complicated and changeable. It is known as social quality. I studied hard and worked part-time. I had worked more than fifteen different jobs at a young age. I have moderate communication skills, and I have moderate experiences regarding relationships and people-reading. I like new things, but I also value people and things around me.

The truth may be cruel, but I would rather know more than know less. It's no longer the trend to only focus on one field or one person. The message of this generation is changing and we are invisibly unfaithful. For this reason, loyalty and kindness are more valuable, and trust requires courage. In this generation of survival, sometimes I become a wooden doll or robot without knowing it, and I need to change to make myself not numb.

Every moment I try to understand myself, grasp my mind, and treat myself kindly. Only in this way can I know how to love more people and the world.

I wrote this blog to record my feelings, and hope that if you are close to me, you will understand me more. Feeling thankful and grateful!

大樹隨想 Imagination of Tree (Chin/Eng)

Photo by Yu Man

我是一棵大樹，在这片陌生的土地紥根。
你是一隻小鳥，在這片自由的天空飛翔。

當你疲倦，孤獨，和煩惱時，我希望能展開我的枝節臂彎讓你棲息。
我當然相信你能飛得越高越遠越好，但我真正關心的是你在飛的過程中是否有強健的體魄及開朗的心情。你也可以在我的身體上建立巢穴，開展家庭。無論強風吹襲，或曰曬雨淋，我仍是我，仍在厚實地服務着你。強風暴雨只會讓我更強大，更能茁壯成長！

到有一天，我老了，病了，去世了。我的靈魂及影子會留在你的回憶中。我的骨灰會撒在這棵樹上。落紅不是無情物，化作春泥更護花。我仍是那棵孕育過生命的大樹🌳

— 雯創作


I am a tree, rooting in this new land.
You are a bird, flying in this free sky.

When you feel tired, lonely, and frustrated, I hope to embrace you with my branch arms for you to rest on.

I absolutely believe that you can fly to the highest, the furthest, and the best. However, what I really care about is if you are healthy and happy during your flight. You can create nests and start families on my body. No matter how strong the wind is, how hot the sun is, or how heavy the rain is, I am still me, I am still serving you wholeheartedly. Big wind and heavy rain make me grow faster and stronger!

One day, I will grow old, get sick, and pass away. My soul and shadow will be captured in your memory. My ash will be spreaded on this tree. When a flower dies, it’s selfless, its leaves and petals become the fertilizer of the nature and help the other flowers grow. I am still that tree which has helped the other lives grow. 🌳

—  Created by Yu Man

生活隨筆 Life Random Notes (Chin/Eng)

寫日記成為我的習慣。寫了十三年，珍藏了十多本大大小小，琳琅滿目的日記本。十年前從香港到美國，直到現在，我堅持寫繁體中文，因為我不想忘記我的根源及文化。我愛我土生土長的，博大精深的中華文化！

手寫日記的好處是能記錄自己當時的心情及得著。手寫字體會隨著心境而改變，心情好時會寫得整齊點，心情不好的話，字體就像打風般東歪西倒。幾經風霜後，再回顧細味自己的成長心路歷程，是多麼美妙的事！每次我一遇到難關，就會記下一點一滴的回憶，和自己聊天，不經不覺就能自我調解，身心舒𣈱。

人的自重感真大啊！每個人都希望被重視，被關注，被尊重。其實，我們自身就是自己最佳的信徒，觀眾，及讀者。我來做個實驗吧，當被指責時，你的第一反應是恨對方，想回激對方, 還是保持沈默？我會嘗試抽離角色，把自己看成別人，心平氣和地去思考如何解決問題，提出建議。這比漫罵及問責來得有意義。我反對暴力，剝削，和剛愎自用。

我不怕一个人，我只怕痛及冷 :P 所以小時候的我會出盡全力鑽到桌下，為的是避開醫生替我打針；到十九歳才敢穿耳洞；也盡量避免刻骨銘心又爛尾的愛情，減少心痛的次數。我對經歷十級痛而誕下親生骨肉的偉大母親們，佩服得五體投地。

因為怕冷，我會在家冬眠，在溫暖的被窩裏策劃著未來。睡覺是我的本領，基本上任何狀況我都能熟睡。睡覺既能養顏，又能消愁，何樂而不為？除非枕邊人的咕嚕聲太大，或當天喝了咖啡因，我才會睡不著，要起床活動看書直到睏為止。

生活上仍有很多人事物令我百思不得其解，但我的好奇心是源源不絕的。只有抱着這顆歷奇之心，才讓我對明天感到有希望和趣味！活到老學到老。

Keeping a diary becomes my habit. After writing for more than 13 years, I have collected more than ten large and small diaries. Ten years ago moving from Hong Kong to the United States, until now, I insist on writing Traditional Chinese, because I do not want to forget my root and culture. I love my native Cantonese culture, broad and profound!

The advantage of a handwritten diary is that you can record your mood at the time and get inspirations from it. The handwriting font will change with the mood. When you are in a good mood, you will write it neatly. If you are in a bad mood, the font will be messy like a storm. After many winds and frosts, it is so wonderful to look back at your own growth journey! Every time I encounter difficulties, I will write down my memories one by one, chat with myself, and I can mediate myself without even knowing it.

The sense of self-respect is so great! Everyone wants to be valued, paid attention, and respected. In fact, we ourselves are our best believers, viewers, and readers. Let me do an experiment. When you are accused by others, your first reaction is to hate the other party, want to repel the other party, or remain silent? I will try to pull away from the role, treat myself as someone else, calmly think about how to solve the problem, and make suggestions. This is more meaningful than scolding about accountability. I oppose violence, exploitation, and arrogance. 

I’m not afraid of being alone, I ’m only afraid of pain and cold though (: P) For examples, when I was young, I would do my best to drill and hide under the table, in order to avoid the doctor to give me a painful injection; I waited to get the “achy”ear piercing until 19 years old; to reduce the number of heartaches from bad results, I tried to avoid input too much effort into loving relationships. I admire the great mothers who gave birth to their own flesh and blood babies after experiencing ten levels of pain.

As for preventing the cold, I would hibernate at home and plan the future in the warm bed. Sleeping is my skill, basically I can sleep soundly in any situation. Sleeping can improve beauty and relieve worries, why not do it more? Unless there’s loud gurgling of the person next to my pillow, or I drink caffeine that day, I will not be able to fall asleep and will have to wake up and read until I am sleepy.

There are still many people and things in life that puzzle me, but my curiosity is endless. Only holding this adventure heart makes me feel hopeful and interesting for tomorrow! Live and learn.